iwillalwaysloveyou: a self love devotional spell
iwillalwaysloveyou
iwillalwaysholdyou
iwillalwaysgiveyou
myattention
iwillalwaysbemine
Spelling and spell work have become incredibly effective teaching practices that help me learn new ways to shift worn and ineffective patterns that no longer serve. This is a ripe moment to focus on self love, look at difficult truths, and evolve. Spell it. Name it. Repeat it. Give it form.
I spent this past week in Gatlinburg, TN at Arrowmont School of Arts and Crafts laboring intensively on my new embroidered form, iwillalwaysloveyou, in an energetically creative space full of focused, purpose-driven artists. This experience was supremely nourishing and transformative.
The spiral of red thread photographed at the heading of my blog post from last week was the first strand of thread used to begin this spell work.
The process of embroidery itself is a dedication to time and transformation. With each stitch intention through repetitious form is reinforced. Add the magical intention of spelling as spell work, and the work becomes a cathartic journey, a devotional made one stitch at a time.
There are 28 lines of embroidery that compose iwillalwaysloveyou. I was able to average between 4 and 7 lines per day over a 5 day spelling period. It was a practice in endurance. It was physically and emotionally painful. It was pleasurable and uplifting. It was a prayer for an internal energy shift. A prayer is a spell, and a spell is a prayer. It was breathing life into intention, one new colorful line at a time. Colors shifted and mirrored the waxing and waning energy of a prayer or spell spoken aloud. It was a push and pull - a popular painterly preoccupation. It was a cathartic journey. It was somatic pleasure. It was sumptuous infatuation shifted. It was an dedication to Dolly Parton, author of “I Will Always Love You,” a song with a message distinct from my own, but inspired by her writing in the spirit of liberation and re-focused dedication.
Did you know that Dolly Parton was born just miles from Gatlinburg in the Great Smokey Mountains? Her energy was with me throughout. I also helped raise it further by listening to the entire collection of stories in the Dolly Parton’s America podcast from WNYC.
I completed the last 7 lines of this piece on Friday, a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Cancer. Usually full moon times are exceptionally challenging for me to work through and it takes a lot of energy to support my psyche during this particular point in the lunar cycle, but accomplishing the goal to conclude embroidery work on iwillalwaysloveyou at such an auspicious lunar moment left me feeling held, focused and energized.
This spell work is about A LOT of things for me personally, and I wanted to make it at a human form scale so that it could be felt by the viewer as a spell to share. I hope that you find healing in the luscious repetition. iwillalwaysloveyou has sadness in its roots. I believe that pointing to pain is the way to embark on the journey of healing. It is diff-i-cult for me to focus on self love, and I don’t think I’m alone in that reality. Difficult work is worthy work.
I am so thankful that this project dropped into the heart of my creative practice, and I am so thankful for the time I was able to dedicate to its development during my week at the Arrowmont Winter Pentaculum. Below is a full shot of the piece in the Textiles studio space at Arrowmont just after I completed the final line. And below that is the self love spell transformed and activated for daily use. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
ialwaysloveyou
ialwaysholdyou
ialwaysgiveyou
myattention
iamalwaysmine
* I had a fever while I finished packing for my Arrowmont trip, and didn’t pack NEARLY enough embroidery floss in all the reds, pinks, and purples that I ended up needing throughout the week. I’d like to give a shout out to all of the folks that helped ensure I had enough embroidery thread to complete this piece in a manner that fulfilled my creative vision: Nancy, Nancy, and Chris at Smoky Mountain Spinnery in downtown Gatlinburg, Erin Castallan, and the embroidery floss files at Arrowmont.